•A puppy. Preferably a pug.
•A plane ticket to anywhere but here.
•An iPhone 4.
•$$$$$$$
•Boy Meets World DVD’s, all the seasons after season 3.
•Ritalin. (I’m not a druggy, just a struggling college student.)
•A coffee bean gift card.
•My boyfriend to come home :(
•Shoes. I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes since beginning of my junior year.
•Headphones. Preferably Spiderman ones :/
•Taylor Sheldon<3
•New Years Eve in Time Square.
•Sky diving.
That should do.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Insomnia vs Depression
Today is Saturday. I haven't slept since Wednesday :/
By the time I actually decide to get into bed, it's about 6am.
I can't stop crying and Taylor isn't even in town to talk to, neither is Garrett :(
I just need a friend who will hold me while I cry.
Taylor has some of the best people I know as best friends though. I called them last night at about 4am and they came and sat with me talking about everything until like 6... :/
It's awesome having a shoulder to lean on, someone saying they care, and someone to tell you it's going to be okay and really mean it.
I'm so scared that in 10 days when he's gone, I won't have someone to comfort me.
:( I've never felt so crappy in my life.
By the time I actually decide to get into bed, it's about 6am.
I can't stop crying and Taylor isn't even in town to talk to, neither is Garrett :(
I just need a friend who will hold me while I cry.
Taylor has some of the best people I know as best friends though. I called them last night at about 4am and they came and sat with me talking about everything until like 6... :/
It's awesome having a shoulder to lean on, someone saying they care, and someone to tell you it's going to be okay and really mean it.
I'm so scared that in 10 days when he's gone, I won't have someone to comfort me.
:( I've never felt so crappy in my life.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Just a thought, or two, or three.
So I'm sitting here in the library studying my butt off and I gotta say, I'm proud of myself for actually buckling down and getting my work done.
The reason I'm in the library so late though I'm not very proud of.
I have been slacking so much in school lately, and it's really not good. This isn't high school. No more games from here on out, I'm dedicating the appropriate amount of effort to my school work now.
In other news, Taylor's farewell is this Sunday. :( That is all.
I got my Halloween costume. Well, the stuff to make my costume. I'm going to be Minnie Mouse. I'm making a tutu out of white tulle and red tulle that his white polka dots on it :) It's gonna be cute! I'm very excited.
The semester is halfway done! I want a change in my life. I want to move to Orlando for a semester in January! I want to travel! I want to see my family in New York! I feel like I've been stationary for so long, I just want to be free. Taking time off from school is definitely not an option, but I am in desperate need of an adventure, a risk, just something new. I'm jealous of Taylor going to Argentina. I want to go.
I just need to learn to take everything day by day. Right now, I need to study, eat, and start my costume. THEN, my adventure :)
The reason I'm in the library so late though I'm not very proud of.
I have been slacking so much in school lately, and it's really not good. This isn't high school. No more games from here on out, I'm dedicating the appropriate amount of effort to my school work now.
In other news, Taylor's farewell is this Sunday. :( That is all.
I got my Halloween costume. Well, the stuff to make my costume. I'm going to be Minnie Mouse. I'm making a tutu out of white tulle and red tulle that his white polka dots on it :) It's gonna be cute! I'm very excited.
The semester is halfway done! I want a change in my life. I want to move to Orlando for a semester in January! I want to travel! I want to see my family in New York! I feel like I've been stationary for so long, I just want to be free. Taking time off from school is definitely not an option, but I am in desperate need of an adventure, a risk, just something new. I'm jealous of Taylor going to Argentina. I want to go.
I just need to learn to take everything day by day. Right now, I need to study, eat, and start my costume. THEN, my adventure :)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Once again.
This week has been ridiculous. I went from being extremely depressed, to unbelievably happy, and now.. I think I'm in the middle. So, let's do this shall we.
I'm thankful for...
-My parents. They are always trying to give me everything I need/want. I love them and I am so grateful that they have been there to comfort me this past week. Idk what I would do without them.
-Meeting Taylor. My boyfriend leaves in 19 days. :( I won't get to see him for two whole years. I don't regret anything that we've been through. These past two years with him have been the happiest years of my life. He is my best friend and I love him more than anything! <3 He's going to be awesome in Argentina.
-School. I seriously learn so much in college. In high school, I hardly learned.
-My bed. Like I said, sleep helps me escape and I am so grateful to have a comfortable bed that I could lose myself for hours in.
-Jersday! It gives me something to do for a few hours on a Thursday night, making fun of guidos, and hanging out with some of my best friends.
-Rachelle Angel. She's seriously been the most amazing person to me the past few weeks. I love her to death and she has been helping me cope with losing Tay! She gives me that hot chocolate on my gloomy days that I can always use. :)
I'm thankful for...
-My parents. They are always trying to give me everything I need/want. I love them and I am so grateful that they have been there to comfort me this past week. Idk what I would do without them.
-Meeting Taylor. My boyfriend leaves in 19 days. :( I won't get to see him for two whole years. I don't regret anything that we've been through. These past two years with him have been the happiest years of my life. He is my best friend and I love him more than anything! <3 He's going to be awesome in Argentina.
-School. I seriously learn so much in college. In high school, I hardly learned.
-My bed. Like I said, sleep helps me escape and I am so grateful to have a comfortable bed that I could lose myself for hours in.
-Jersday! It gives me something to do for a few hours on a Thursday night, making fun of guidos, and hanging out with some of my best friends.
-Rachelle Angel. She's seriously been the most amazing person to me the past few weeks. I love her to death and she has been helping me cope with losing Tay! She gives me that hot chocolate on my gloomy days that I can always use. :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
I can't believe how fast life is going right now. Taylor's farewell talk is in 2 and a half weeks!!! That's so crazy. It seriously feels like I just met the kid yesterday, I can't believe we've been together for 22 months<3 I love the kid.
Also, I have two jobs now, and I'm taking five classes as a full time student. Am I crazy? No, just broke. :p Ugh. I am beyond stressed. This semester needs to end already so I can figure out if I'm moving to Orlando or not. Also, I may be going there with not only Tony, but Timmy and Dallin too! Timmy's going to bring his car if he gets accepted so we are totally going to hit up the beach and pretty much take over Orlando.
I want everything to speed up so I can get the show on the road and hurry up and be done with classes, but I want so bad for time to go as slow as possible because I want to be with Taylor more than anything. This situation sucks.
Also, I have two jobs now, and I'm taking five classes as a full time student. Am I crazy? No, just broke. :p Ugh. I am beyond stressed. This semester needs to end already so I can figure out if I'm moving to Orlando or not. Also, I may be going there with not only Tony, but Timmy and Dallin too! Timmy's going to bring his car if he gets accepted so we are totally going to hit up the beach and pretty much take over Orlando.
I want everything to speed up so I can get the show on the road and hurry up and be done with classes, but I want so bad for time to go as slow as possible because I want to be with Taylor more than anything. This situation sucks.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
It's been awhile since I've done one of these!
I'm thankful for...
-My friends. They have been there for me so much this past week. To point out a few, Gloria, Ricardo, and Rachelle! Taylor and I have been having some issues and these people have been by my side going out of their way to make sure I'm okay. I love them<3 Kayla, Tyler, and Jan also deserve a big shout out! We had the funniest conversation the other night and I seriously haven't laughed that hard (by myself) in forever! Love them!
-Taylor. I know things aren't perfect for us right now. I can honestly say that things can only get better. He leaves in ONE MONTH and we've been at each others throats :/ But still, I love him and he loves me. He gave me a place to sleep this weekend and a shoulder to cry on when he wasn't the one producing my tears. I know he cares about me, things are just crazy right now. I am so sorry for everything :/
-Ice Films. I can finally watch any movie I want at anytime! Tay and I have been dying to watch Hot Rod and The Ugly Truth. Thanks to ice films, I was able to download them to my hard drive and watch them :)
-Sleep. Sleep lets me escape from reality for a little bit. I've been taking naps like crazy lately. It's so nice to not care for a few hours of the day.
-Aeropostale and American Eagle. I finally have a job again! I can pay for George (my car), buy food, and go to the movies with my friends again :)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
A. Age: 18
B. Bed Size: Full.
C. Chore you hate: Dishes. I can't even stand going near a kitchen sink.
D. Dogs: I looove the puppies! Anything small works for me.
E. Essential start to your day: Putting in those contacts so I can see :)
F. Favorite Color: Yellow, Pink, and Purple.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver! I feel like gold looks tacky haha.
H. Height: 5'3".
I. Instruments you play: I used to play the keyboard, so if you give me some music, I can sit down and play for you :)
J. Job Title: Sales Associate and Full time student.
K. Kids: 4 please :)
L. Live: Las Vegas
M. Mother's Name: Joan
N. Nicknames: Goose, Jess, Jessie, or Jessiecaca.
O. Overnight hospital stays: When I was a baby, for like 1 month.
P. Pet Peeves: People who curse every other word, when my parents ask me if I ate today, people who drive 10 below the speed limit.
Q. Quote from a Movie: "I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!" -Hot Rod
R. Right handed or Left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: Non existent.
T. Time to wake up: Mon/Wed at 8:00, Tues/Thurs at 7.
U. Underwear: Victoria's Secret.
V. Vegetables you hate: Umm, I don't know actually. I guess brocolli.
W. What makes you run late: Over sleeping.
X. X-rays you have: Teeth, wrist, ankle, hand, and neck.
Y. Yummy food that you make: I'm such a good cook! I'll make you anything :)
Z. Zoo animals: I like the elephants and the monkeys.
B. Bed Size: Full.
C. Chore you hate: Dishes. I can't even stand going near a kitchen sink.
D. Dogs: I looove the puppies! Anything small works for me.
E. Essential start to your day: Putting in those contacts so I can see :)
F. Favorite Color: Yellow, Pink, and Purple.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver! I feel like gold looks tacky haha.
H. Height: 5'3".
I. Instruments you play: I used to play the keyboard, so if you give me some music, I can sit down and play for you :)
J. Job Title: Sales Associate and Full time student.
K. Kids: 4 please :)
L. Live: Las Vegas
M. Mother's Name: Joan
N. Nicknames: Goose, Jess, Jessie, or Jessiecaca.
O. Overnight hospital stays: When I was a baby, for like 1 month.
P. Pet Peeves: People who curse every other word, when my parents ask me if I ate today, people who drive 10 below the speed limit.
Q. Quote from a Movie: "I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!" -Hot Rod
R. Right handed or Left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: Non existent.
T. Time to wake up: Mon/Wed at 8:00, Tues/Thurs at 7.
U. Underwear: Victoria's Secret.
V. Vegetables you hate: Umm, I don't know actually. I guess brocolli.
W. What makes you run late: Over sleeping.
X. X-rays you have: Teeth, wrist, ankle, hand, and neck.
Y. Yummy food that you make: I'm such a good cook! I'll make you anything :)
Z. Zoo animals: I like the elephants and the monkeys.
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